50%. That’s the statistic of marriages
that end in divorce nowadays. Love, supposedly one of the most pure and
beautiful things life has to offer, is now being corrupt by selfishness and
rash decisions. Most people consider divorce one of the worst things that can
happen to a couple, but I wouldn’t know. What I do know is how it affects the
kid of the divorcees. Simply, it sucks. It’s full of fights, puffy eyes, and
car rides during the holidays from one family’s house to the next. There’s
nothing fun about it. There are so many reasons why I should be saying that my
parent’s divorce ruined my life – made it so difficult that I wanted to give up
– but you’ll never hear me say that. In fact, my parent’s separation is the
reason I am who I am today: a strong, independent, mature young-adult. I’ll
never say that I’m glad my parents got divorced, but some really great things
came out of having a manipulative father and an over-bearing mother who both love
me more than I can imagine.
Divorce certainly isn’t easy for a
child. I was two when my parents realized it was over. By the age of three I
was spending every other weekend with my dad in his town-house. The first few
years of my life were normal – to me at least. I didn’t really know that what
my parents did was unusual – that a mommy and daddy were supposed to live
together. As I got older I started realizing that none of my friends had to
spend Thursday after school and every other weekend at their dad’s house;
that’s when things got difficult. I was always a smart kid; I picked up on
things that seven-year-olds typically don’t realize, but I was special. I
didn’t spend much of the summer camps I attended with the other kids; I was
always talking with the counselors. I always preferred adult conversation to
the infantile play of kids my own age. I was of the divorced group. This meant
that I would mature faster than everyone else. I knew things and could feeling
things that no child should have to know or feel. But that’s how it was; it’s
how I grew up. I was about seven or eight when the regular-fights started. I
spent almost every weekend in tears over things I’ll never remember. Mostly
because they were insignificant, but also because I learned to let things go.
That was my first lesson: to forgive. I quickly learned that holding grudges wouldn’t
get you anywhere but alone and disappointed. For me, I think forgiveness is the
most crucial part of life. We’re humans. We make mistakes. It’s inevitable.
But, if you go around and act like you’re better than everyone else and can’t
get over things, you’ll be the unhappiest person alive. To be truly happy, it’s
imperative to forgive.
Another thing I learned was to stand up
for what I believe in. Now, that is far easier said than done. To begin this
lesson, I first had to figure out exactly what I believed in. For me, that will
never stop changing because I hear new ideas and theories every day that
influence my own, but no matter how I feel that day, I stand by it. Of course,
this led to more fights, but that’s okay. They made me stronger, more stubborn,
and even wittier. I grew tough skin and learned to hold back my emotions.
Standing up for myself was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my life. Before
I learned this, I had no self-esteem; I felt weak and useless. I don’t know
what it was, but one day I woke up and decided I wasn’t going to take the
manipulation anymore. After countless more tears and fights, I finally reached
my breaking point. On August 6, 2011, I left my dad’s house, and I swore I
would never come back. I’ve kept that promise to this day. I don’t regret it
either. I love my dad, and I know he loves me, but that doesn’t mean we like
each other. We were too different to get along, or maybe to alike – I’ll never
figure it out. When people hear the story they can’t believe it. They think
that I was too drastic, but I was standing up for myself and what I believed
in. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’ve grown so much as a
person, it’s incredible. I am truly proud.
The final lesson of the divorce is to be
optimistic. Life is hard, there’s no doubt about it, but if you let yourself
think that way it will bring you down. You have to take each day at a time.
Things will never be perfect, but you can’t go through life worrying about
situations. That’s like walking around with an umbrella waiting for it to rain.
It’s completely pointless. This divorce has taught me to treasure the great
moments of life and take the bad ones with an open mind. If I could I would
avoid every bad situation I’ve ever encountered, but if I had done that, I
wouldn’t be writing this paper right now. The bad situations in life give you
lessons and teach you to appreciate the good situations. That is the exact reason why I’ll never be upset with my parents
for their divorce. If they hadn’t separated, I wouldn’t be me. I wouldn’t be
strong or independent or stubborn or facetious or hard-working or cautious or
level-headed. As I said before, I’ll never say I’m glad my parents got
divorced, but incredible lessons have come out of this horrible situation.
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